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BEN IS SOBER NOW

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Days 1 through 10

Days 1 through 10:

Day 1 - 12/28: 8mg

Day 2 - 12/29: 8mg

Day 3 - 12/30: 8mg

Day 4 - 12/31: 8mg

Day 5 - 01/01: 8mg

Day 6 - 01/02: 4mg

Day 7 - 01/03: 4mg

Day 8 - 01/04: 4mg

Day 9 - 01/05: 4mg

Day 10 - 01/06: 2mg


I’m on day 10 of the taper today, first day of me journaling this. I started at a 16mg steady dose. I’m off work for the next 7 days and I just got down to 2mg. Trying to get through the acute shit while I’m off of work so lowered from 4mg to 2mg a little earlier than expected. It’s actually not as bad as I thought it would be. I stopped taking Trazadone for sleep so I haven’t been sleeping great. I get chills sometimes but nothing huge. I actually have been up and about a lot more than I thought I would be. I’m going to stay on 2mg for 8 days, then go down to 1.5mg, then 1mg, then .5mg. I feel so much better than I thought I would, considering I’ve gone from 12 to 2mg in 10 days. An 8 to 10 month taper just wouldn’t work for me, I’ve tried that too many times to count.


I haven’t used narcotics or drank to get high in a long long time so I feel completely safe from a relapse. When I started on Suboxone, I relocated to a new town and didn’t ever associate with any drug users. I think that was a huge part of my success. Living in a town with all of your old friends and drugs really makes it hard to stay of drugs and alcohol.


As for the taper this time, I don’t know exactly what happened. Something just clicked on me and I just wasn’t scared of the withdrawal anymore. I finally feel ready, and I don’t know exactly why. I’m on a meal plan. I’ve lost about 50 pounds in the last 6 months. I’ve started exercising. Doing healthy things for fun. And I just want to share my story because I can’t really talk to many people in my everyday life about this. It’s nice to vent some of it.


Also, if someone can read this and see what I went through, day by day, during and after the taper, then maybe they’ll know what to expect. Some entries will be short. Some will be long. Some days will be better than others. But at the end of all of this, I’ll be free from any type of substance that I am reliant on to stay sober. And that is the endgame.

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